hard as a rock

These past few days, a test was handed to us by teacher life. Something that shook us yet composed us in a way that it's all intact. It was a difficult test which we almost failed because it involves other people. Fortunately, my significant other and I passed it all and got a passing mark in the end.

My relationship with my significant other has been put to a test (a lot difficult than the last one). It didn't involve lame excuses this time. However, it involved other people who I barely knew. It shook the best of what we had that time and I could say that it almost put an end to the chapter of the book we both are currently sharing, as well as, writing. Ooops...I know you're quite intrigued about this issue, but I would rather not tell because I think it's best to bury it all in the past. After all, my significant other and I are currently moving on from that issue.

It's nice to know that jealousy didn't overrule our love for each other. Lucky for me that he's in love with me and would go an extra mile just to keep me. I love knowing that and I also love seeing him prove it all to me. It's not that I, myself, am putting some so-called test to prove my worth to him, but it's way too obvious and needless to say, I don't need to do that anymore. Why? It's because everything is laid out in front of me. I know right from the very start he loves me and will always love me till hell gives a chill.

Right now, everything runs smoothly between us. We are, again, patching things up and filling in the holes that were made during those days of thorns. I am happy to know that we're slowly getting back to the normal pace of our relationship - focused and very determined to share a life and love together for the rest of our lives.

Yes, you didn't get me wrong. We are focused and very determined to have a future together. In fact, we already have planned things out. We'll work abroad, build a house, and buy a car. If everything is satisfied, then, a higher kind of relationship shall take place but if one thing is missing, we'll remain this way. We both agreed that if we can't be stable, we can't reach the higher level which both of us look upon in the near future. That is why, as of now, we're both busy building our own careers.

glued still

i don't wanna go...i don't wanna leave...so i'll stay the rest of my life.

i thought it's going to break. i though it's going to fall apart; it's nice to know it's glued still. Yeah, I really thought our relationship had come at the end of the line. Luckily, it didn't. We're still together now and seems like nothing has happened. He must have really loved me for in the end, he still accepted me as me, understood and loved my flaws.

After we had that fight, where I thought it's going to break, my significant other and I talked. Yeah, he was hurt and for a moment didn't know if he's still going to believe me. But at the end, he confessed that he can't afford to lose me. (lucky me!) He told me he loves me still and nothing has changed. He still won't leave me just because of that lame lie. His love for me is enough for him to stay and accept the consequences that lies ahead. Quite mushy, eh? Well, maybe that's just how love works. It's mushy but it somehow makes me happy. =)

Recently, we're patching things up and making it work again. Honestly, everything that happens in our relationship is all my fault. Why? Let's just say I'm a brat to him. He gives me what I want, follow everything I say (that is, if it's reasonable), understands me, never complains if I'm in a worst mood ever, and loves me for who I am and who I am not. But, he also scolds me especially when I go beyond the limit, tries to educate me on the value of money, helping me save and corrects me in every mistake I commit. In short, he somehow disciplines me and helps me to think maturely. haha!

For the love of writing

I can't believe my mom actually told almost everyone about this blog (yes, you...i know my mom told you to visit this site and read what i have to write..hehe)! She recently told me that she told her friends, co-employee, my relatives, etc about it. aaaaahhhhhhh!!! What a great way to kill myself for embarrassment!haha! Anyway, if you love to read my blog, be my guest. Welcome to my little "writing" world. And Ma, I know you're proud of me, but you're killing me with embarrassment...hahaha! Thanks a lot for supporting my blog, Ma!

something unexpected

i have been writing for years right now. blogging has become my hobby. yet, for years in blogging, something unexpected happened. just this morning, my mom told me that she read my blog postings (blushing). errr! i didn't expect she would come across my blog for i didn't even tell my friends about it. it's somehow personal, but, guess what? it's not anymore. hahaha! but then again, it's okay. at least, in a way i can ease her boredom away. hehe!

it's friday evening, thank god! work has become a bit stressful this week knowing that i should beat the deadlines and satisfy the needs of every client i have. that's why, i love friday because by saturday, i can wake up as late as i want to. stay in bed, eat and be lazy for two days.

about to break

it's been a while since i have fill in the details of what's happening to me right now. i used to do this with my other blogs but currently, i find no time to do that, until now. maybe because this is my only way of expressing what i truly feel. this is my sole escape from the harsh world, my sole redemption.

i am deeply hurt right now but not as much as i've hurt my significant other. lately, i've been struggling to keep up with my life...trying so hard to balance everything and put it on it's rightful places. yet, every time i do so, i keep on failing to keep up with the other parts. maybe because life is not at all equal, something has to fall in order for the other to rise. tsk...tsk...tsk...currently, that's what's going on in my life right now. i'm pretty much messed up, to make things worst, i am the reason to every bit of it. all the fingers point back to me. i am responsible for this struggle i put myself into. it is all because of me. am i undergoing self pity? nah, i think i'm not. i've just realized, i am responsible to everything that's happening to me. it's all my doings, therefore, it's all my fault.

as i am trying to balance my life, little did i know, i kept my relationship with my significant other unbalanced. blind as i was, it was until today that i've realized i have a lot of things to make up with him. time, effort, patience, trust, those sort of things. yes, i ruined our relationship. sadly, it's now falling apart. i made a mistake of lying to him, which he then eventually found out at the end of the day. darn, why did i have to lie to him? my mistake, i know. blame me all you want. i perfectly know my mistake. and i am really sorry for what i've done. yet, i think sorry doesn't make it anymore. he doesn't believe anymore, doesn't even know if what i've told him that i don't wanna lose him is true. haay...now, he didn't respond to my text already. the communication has been cut. what should i do?i really don't know. i am ashamed of what i have done and the problem is, i don't know how to approach him anymore. (sniff. sniff)

school blues

I have been out of school for months now; 3 months to be exact. Maybe that's why I am still not accustomed to what I have in my life right now. Every weekdays, I pass by Xavier University and every time I do, I can't deny the feeling I feel that i miss...

...the security guards that I sometimes fight with in order to get inside the campus.
...fooling the security guards, assuring them that I am wearing the right dress code though I'm sometimes guilty about it. (hehe)
...those times when I wake up and quite shocked with the time since I know I am going to be late for class.
...those times when I leave the house with an empty stomach just because I have an early exam.
...those long lines I engage myself into for the fact that I need to be enrolled, to pay the tuition fees, to have my subject loads, have an evaluation and to get the marks I have for the semester.
...those times when my heart is pounding so fast, afraid that a disgracing F would appear on my sheet.
...the jokes we used to have, saying that what an expensive paper it is, for us to pay 2,600 and that is, the green form used for our enrollment.
...the fights with the student volunteers for failing to call our priority numbers at our sbm building.
...those days when I used to hang out at timber or sit around the benches chatting the afternoon away even if I know my class is going on while I am by standing on the area.
...the lame reason I usually have when my classmates would ask me why I enjoy skipping class (what's the purpose of my allowable absences if I won't use it?)
...the endless waiting for my next allowance to arrive.
...the twice a year visit at the library to get my clearance be signed.
...those times when I sit at the corner of the room pretending that I am listening to the discussion when in fact, I am really not.
...the sufferings I had during those grueling and boring subjects.
...the weird philosophy teacher I had.
...those times when I cram for exams and get surprised to get a passing mark.
...those times when I join in with a crowd just to buy orbitz.
...the covacho I used to drink.
...the professors which some of them I hate while some I like.
...those classmates who asks for answers from me without them knowing, I, too doesn't have one.
...the projects, may it be a group or individual, were made the day before the submission.
...those times when I attend a class and get surprise because a quiz is going to take place.
...those subjects I had surprisingly passed though I didn't put an effort on it.
...the thesis, those system we used to make, the reaction papers, and the reflection papers
...the recollections and retreat where the coordinators would hope that at the end, they have enlighten us in some ways.
...the different classmates I had which became good friends of mine through out my entire college life.
...the fun times, the outings, the skipping of classes, the bottles they used to empty when problems shook the best of them and I, on the other hand just sit with them and watch them drink the liquor away promising myself to never ever do the same thing.
...by standing at computer cafes

AND i do believe it boils down to one thing...i just miss my school days.

letting go

The only thing in this world that is left constant is change.

I have been living my life for 20 short years already and as I have been living it the way I have want it, I have come to realize that the essential part of growing up is to let go. No matter how we are attached to a thing, at some point in our lives we need to let go and let things be that way. Why? Maybe because in this world, we own nothing. Nothing in the sense that even though you have taken care of that thing all your life, one day you'll wake up and face reality that the thing you most cared about is gone. See? That's just how it goes. We need to let go and eventually learn.

On my account, I have let go of a lot of things in my life already. However, I know what I have let go won't be enough to attest that I have been matured, learned and understood the most complex thing, life. I am still young, I know, yet I also know that somehow I am beginning to understand that when something closes, an opening awaits somewhere. And I also believe that everything happens for a reason.

For example, I have closed the door of earning a bachelor's degree and now, I am opening the door of working. I have let go of a guy and guess what, I have met a new wonderful guy I have been spending my life for a year now! I have let go of accountancy and here I am showing to the world my analysis skills for the web. See? We have to let go in order to earn more.

Yet, why does letting go hurts when we know that in the end it could benefit us? Why does letting go seems to be so hard and learning seems to be so easy?tsk..tsk...tsk...life..so complex yet so wonderful.

jev's own story of what happened a year ago

June 21, 2008
To my:
Dearest Mamine
Listen to my story
I'm in my room right now
Here it goes

The weather is so cold. The rain never stops. I could clearly hear the rain's tictac as I'm lying here in my bed. Familiar isn't it? The same weather as last year when we first met. Let me recall...

Exactly a year ago, I was alone... Walking on the streets of Cagayan de Oro with a heart as cold as the weather. I felt so weak inside... well, perhaps due to the weather. I missed the fire inside me for quite some time already. I kept myself busy with the things that I am fond of; trying everything just to feel a bit of burning sensation inside. I badly need it! The zest! The will to do things with marks of joy and fulfillment. As I waited for the day to end, I invited a newly acquainted friend of mine for a "make-up" dinner treat. (What i will narrate next would be the best thing that happened in my life. So I hope you will bear with me). My newly acquainted friend told me that she had a friend with her. Well, it didn't matter. So, I went to our meeting place at C-Prompt Internet Cafe. When I opened the door and step a foot inside the cafe, I felt strange. I didn't know why. Then, I saw a very familiar girl sitting beside the door. Familiar as I have said because I've noticed this girl since my freshmen years at Xavier University. I find her so adorable and attractive, she always catches my attention every time she passes by. On that very moment, I felt a blazing aura that out blazed mine. As she was introduced by our common friend, wow! I never felt that kind of feeling before. I was able to distinguish the difference between looking at her in a distance and when she was in front of me. "Jev, si joan akong barkada", as my friend introduced. I felt as if I was so small and the girl was on the top of the world. But alas! For almost 3 years of wanting to know her, I finally did. I gave her my smile and she gave me a blunt one. Hahaha! Then, she started complaining because she was hungry and we decided to eat at Mom's Corner. When we arrived at the restaurant, we had sensible talks. We smiled, laughed and I even stared at her. Knowing a bit about her and about her past, I questioned myself, how a sweet young lady could have a painful past. Then I told myself, "how I wish I could have a girl like her. " The one that could love me so dearly, so sweet. After almost an hour, she can feel her tummy rumbling already (hehehe). Her attention was diverted back to the hunger she felt and complained because our orders weren't served yet. She badly needs food, doesn't she? hehehe. At last after the long wait, our dinner was served and ate it. After diner, we had another round of talk. During our dinner, I was able to witness the beauty behind her smiles. A lot more gorgeous woman. After a couple of minutes, we decided to leave the restaurant. Surprised to hear, she treated us at Park Cafe for a cup of coffee to warm up the night.

She kept on teasing me to her friend. Surprisingly, she said "Hala! Basin sa ako ka kay letter J raba ako ex...Aw dili diay kay R naman diay ako hilig." I felt good when she said the first line but then dismayed upon hearing the second. hehehe! Few more talks. Just in time when the rain stopped, we parted ways and went home. When I arrived home, her friend told me to text her. I love the way we texted that time which came to a point wherein I wasn't able to reply to her friend's messages.

My night with her was so great! I was able to feel a bit of ignition inside me. It seemed that the fire was starting to grow. I was happy for at the end of the day, I was able to find the igniter who would bring back the fire of my life...

This was the beginning of our story that exactly happened a year ago...

Happy Anniversary My Dear Joan Marie Salahid

You are the reality of my ideals. You are all I need. You are the best that I have. We will grow old and be with each other for the rest of our lives.

I love you so much my dear angel!

- Jev Verula

Let This Be My Vow

Life has never been easy, I know
It seems like fate has become our bitter foe.
Fights have been a common undertaking,
Not minding that together we are hurting.

Nonetheless, you shall not fear
My love for you has never been queer.
It has always been the same,
I am still in love with you, this I won't be ashamed.

Everything may still be unbefitting,
We may still find ourselves fighting,
Conversely, I hope and pray,
That together hand in hand we'll face it come what may.

Even though life has been so tough,
This in no doubt is never a bluff
From the unfathomable depths of my heart,
Forever, I promise, I will always stay.

my own story of love

hmmm...i am alone in my room right now and i've got nothing to do. the mp3 is on, the fan is humming and the rain just keeps on pouring, then, something came up to my mind. i will talk about love this time. a love i never knew exists until this person came to my life and made me realized that love is the most wonderful feeling a person could probably feel. you may say that it is just a feeling, but mind you, it's a feeling that could somehow change everything you thought you know about love.

well, to top it off, i am going to tell you my own lovestory. although i know some may have known some part of it, but the truth is still with me right? the real feelings i felt, the love that swept me off of my own little feet. i am going to tell all of you, about this one ordinary man turned out to be extra ordinary, extra perfect for me and how he once made me fall in love and from then on, i never stopped falling for him. i must warn you though that this entry might be too mushy for all of you to read, but for me? it won't be. this article will be an attestation on how my life changed and how much he loved me in return. telling you all of this is as hard as telling my parents that i commited a mistake. it's hard not because i made a mistake, but it's hard because this is my very first time to fill you in with the details of my life. particularly in the aspect of love. funny though, but i don't wanna stop myself from doing so. oh, well, let's cut the crap and let's keep on moving.

how to start? i dont really know. oh, maybe let's just start from the very beginning. let's see, i've fallen in and out of love. guys took the pleasure of crushing my heart in ways they had hurt me. the first one died, the other was just one of the puppy loves a girl could have in her highschool years, the other one was not contented with me and dated another girl and the other guy? well, let's just say it just didn't work out.

honestly, i've dated guys while i was still on the dating wheel. i didn't hesitate to date coz i know it's fun to know people, to know how they react on certain circumstances and how i get to know myself better and understand the needs as i am growing up to be the woman i am about to become. as i was in and out of the dating wheel, some guys left me expecting that they like me back, some i just dumped for good reasons though and some i ended up to be good friends with.

when i ended up my fourth failed relationship, i tried to settle for infatuation, something that would just make me smile for a while, something there but you know you won't go anywhere beyond it. i settled for that feeling and promised myself that i would never ever go beyond that feeling. in some ways, i thought it would be better if i settled with that situation, for in that way, i won't be hurt and i wont breakdown and cry again just like before. in addition to this, i still got along with the dating wheel and ride with it for a while. then, this mysterious thing happened. something, i never thought would.

a friend of mine introduced me to this guy while i was having a bad mood. since i was having a bad mood, i just flash him with my ever so dry, lifeless smile but the guy gave me a warm smile in return. then, we went to dinner, the three of us (my friend, that guy and me), we went to mom's corner since that's the place i would want to eat my dinner that time and also because they let me decide the place. so where else would it be when i know for sure i want to eat there? while waiting for our food, my mood changed, i found myself talking, openning up and enjoying the time. i even joked around, laughed and smiled a bit. but this guy seemed to be quiet, he just smiles everytime i talk and share a bit of myself to them and that's when i realized he has nice eyes paired with that warm smile of his. by then, i occassionaly glance at him everytime he smiles and see to it that he won't catch me everytime i do so. when the food was served, my friend and i continued talking and i didn't realize until then that i was really sharing a piece of my life to them, something i don't usually do if a newly acquainted person is giving an ear to every word i say. a good sign that i was comfortable having him around.

after a while, we (my friend and i) managed to let the guy talk about his own story. about his past, about who he was back then. but he just shared a little of himself, told us that his relationship failed too and that was just about it. he didn't tell us exactly what happened and how it happened. he just gave us a little about it, some highlights and turning points, and that's all. well, i respect his decision not to go on about his life, we are newly acquainted anyway and maybe he wasn't still comfortable of doing so.

when we were about to get the bill, he asked for the degree i was taking up in college and i gladly told him so. to my surprise, he recognized me. he know my friend who i usually hang out with when break starts. and he had memorized one of my outfits. one where i wore my turtle neck blouse, jeans and a pair of dangling earings. he said i used to pass by him in the campus and there were instances that when he and his friends would hang out in the campus, my friend and i would stop by for a while. but you know what? up until now, i really can't remember his face among those guys we (my friend and i) used to stop by with. funny yet amazing considering the people going in and out of the campus and the degree we are taking up in college, who would have thought this guy from the department of nursing would recognize a girl like me from the sbm?

after that dinner, we stopped by at park cafe and i treated the two of them for a warm cup of coffee since it was cold and it's raining. we talked and joke around each other. and yeah, did i tell you how i used to steal a glance at him whenever he smiles? how he captured me with his eyes? how i wished he would just smile the whole night? well, i did. i was drawn to his smile, i was captured with his eyes and yes, i did wish he would just smile that warm smile for me. a bit fast? maybe that's just how infatuation worked for me that night. his smile worked it out for me, for when he smiles, his eyes smiles too and i find it really nice.

the night was getting older, so i guess it would be the end for the both of us too. just like that. a new acquaintance, a little story to tell and off he goes. but, he didn't. later that night, he texted me. and we found ourselves, exchanging text messages at the wee hours of dawn. and when he knew i was online, he tried to boot his computer but the sad thing is, it didn't work for him. the computer won't allow us to talk online so, we settled for text messaging. after a few text messages, we exchanged our telephone numbers. quite fast, huh? i don't really know why i immediately gave out my number, all i know is that i wasn't like that. i don't really give out my telephone number even to my classmates in college. but how could i have easily gave it to him? that, i do not know. i thought he would call me right away, but he didn't coz he knows it's so late to do so, but he did promise to call me the next day. and he actually called after the night when we first met. we talked and opened up a bit.

and that's how it all started. to save you from eye strain, i won't go from detail to detail on the succeeding paragraphs. i will just share to you a bit of what happened after that night. things that meant a lot to me and things that this guy and i happily recalls every time we talked about the love story, our own lovestory. the story we would gladly share to each one who wants to know.

from then on, we never stopped exchanging text messages nor stopped seeing each other. we make it to a point that even with how busy our day was, we could still meet and hang out for a while. our friends never really knew all about this, we had been secretly dating. we would show up to the cafe where we usually meet and pretend like we didnt hang out and pretend that we haven't had our date. but the fact is, we did date and we know we both clicked! he would accompany me when i want my nails done, he eats lunch and dinner with me, he accompanies me when i am all by myself, he is there when i study for my quizzes and exams, he drinks coffee with me, and to sum it all up, he is there in each passing day of my life after the night when we first met. he didn't go, he stayed, accompanied and took care of me.

there was this time too when we hang out with our friend and then we found out we were just being neglected by our friend. that's where we ended up talking and we both realized we both have the same interests. he likes computer games, i do too! we both love to play diablo, by the way. he likes computer, i do too! he is interested in computer programming, well, that's part of my course too! he likes adobe photoshop and flash, and i do too! see? these are just some of the many things we have in common. and did i tell you we have the same favorite color? hehehe! this happened that night, the discovery as i shall call it. the night when we both realized we will click. the night was getting older again, and he told me he was heading for bugo (the place where i live). that's how he first accompanied me home. the next morning, i then knew he lied to me just so he can accompany me home because he wants to do so and also because it was getting very late. sweet? i know and there's more to tell about this guy.

after that night, he always accompany me home when it's very late and when we went out for a date. it became a normal thing to us to meet every school day, talk online, text or talk on the phone when we got home. we were really comfortable having each other. we talked a lot about ourselves. our own likes and dislikes, our dreams, plans and sorts of things. as we were dating, i've learned the truth about his past, his painful past; a past similar as mine. we were two broken people trying to pick up ourselves once more and get the best slice of life. maybe that's why we clicked because we share the same kind of fate when it came to love and we both don't want to go back to that kind of life again.

there's this advice he gave me when i was really down. he was the first one i called when it happened. the one i cling on for hope and for strength. he told me this: "it is your life. live with it. don't let them affect you for nothing's gonna happen if you do. you'll just destroy your life if you let them rule over you." from that day on, i knew i could trust him, that i could count on him.

there was also this time when he was heading for davao to serve his duty. we talked all night up until 3am eventhough we both know that he would travel by 5am. he still didn't put down the phone, he continued talking to me like there's no tomorrow. not only that, before we had our talk, we went out for a date too and he accompanied me home also. quite nice?i know that one too. when we put down the phone, both of us didn't really sleep for when the clock striked 5am, i called him again just to wake him up. i became his alarm clock and he did manage to thank me and told me no one has ever done that to him before. with both of us having a little sleep, we still managed to text each other while he was on his way to davao up until he arrived. the next thing we knew, we were pouring each other details of how our day went without the company of the other. we both admit that we weren't used to this kind of stuff because as you know, we always date. from monday to sunday and communicated through text from the moment we wake up in the morning until we closed our eyes at night.

while he was in davao, i called him every morning to greet him a simple "good morning" and then we would text each other from then on. we would only stop when he's having a duty or a meeting. days passed and i got myself a sun cellular sim. a network where it offers unlimited calls from sun to sun. when he knew about this, he bought one for himself too. that's when again, we started calling each other non stop. telling each other endless "i miss you" and occassional, "i love you". the phone calls never did stop. when he's on duty, i always wait for his duty to end. and when i am in class, he too, waits for my class to end. and when we're free, we started filling in each other's story about what happened while he or i am not around. basically, that's just how it worked for us while he was away. and then when he went home, we immediately saw each other and watched a movie together and ate dinner together at yellow cab.

what else? well, this unexpected thing happened. he invited me to his house and let me meet his family. including his aunts, uncle, cousins and his favorite grand ma. it was nice and i did enjoy the night. we then walked around the village where he lives. holding each other's hands while walking and talking about anything that comes up to our minds.

hmmm..he gave me flowers for the first time when i was about to go for my retreat. i was so mad at him that day. it was because he was so late and his reason? he had a hard time buying flowers for me. hahaha! when i saw hiim holding the pink boquet of flowers, i really dont know what to say so, i just shut my mouth and waited for him to do the next move. the next thing we did? we went to his house and ate our lunch together.

there was also this time when it was raining and i didn't bring any umbrella or a jacket. he did this very sweet and loving thing. he bought me an umbrella so that when i leave the campus, i won't be drenched with rain. he didn't even mind himself getting wet totally. that's why i was so surprised when i saw him waiting for me at the gate with my new umbrella on his hand and a drenched in the rain guy under it. what a brave and sweet thing to do from a guy who still doesn't have any idea what's his status inside my heart.

this guy always wait for me by the gate of our school. patiently waiting for my class to end. and when i am not in the mood, or when i am down, he always finds a way to make me smile and when i do, his eyes would then be teary. my smile means a lot to him. there was a time also when we had a fight and i didnt talk to him for a very long time. i just sat there, stayed quiet. then, there was a time i smiled, i saw tears in his eyes. a proof that i really mean a lot to this guy.

have i told you how i said yes to him?i surprised him with my answer. it was when he came home from his second trip to davao. his last trip for duty. just as he promised will be. he made this promise because he knows i am not used to having him not around to make my day. it was raining that day when i told him i would be coming over to his village when he arrived. i made a stop at pots and pans and bought a cake and a candle. since it was raining really hard, i waited for the rain to slow down a little. after that, i hailed a cab and went to their village. he drove their trooper and let me ride it with him at the gate of their village. we strolled a bit in the village using the car and finally went home to leave some of my things. then we decided to go to their mini park. the place where they called "multi". we sat there and i gave him a gift. inside was a mug painted with fabric glue. a note was written "i am now yours" and the date at the handle of the mug. when he read it, i can see that he was really surprised, the exact reaction i want to get when he read the message. and inside the mug was a short poem i made for him. i entitled it with "beginning today" just after he finished reading the poem, he kept asking me what it meant. and i said digest everything inside that box and you'll have your answer. just as he did, he ran at the middle of the tennis court and shout with all his might "thank you, lord". he then hugged me and kissed me. after doing so, we lit up the candle and blew it afterwards. then went back to his house, played the cd i gave for him and we ate the cake together. a simple celebration for our first day as a couple.

we're now officially a couple, my family knows him and his family knows me too. so, there's nothing to worry about it. he really didn't actually change. he still is the guy i knew way back when we first met. the guy who is quiet at times and would smile that warm smile of his for me. the guy who sings his heart out and dances if i ask him too. the same guy who do silly stuffs infront of me just to see me laughing. that same guy who does everything just to make me smile. the sweet guy i know who shows his love for me freely. the guy who takes care of me so dearly. the guy who sees to it that i don't frown for an hour or so. the guy who still accompanies me when i need someone to be with. the guy who still walks inside the beauty salon when i want my nails down. the guy who shops with me. the guy who stays late at night just to hear my voice talking on the other end of the line. the guy who would sacrifice just to see me happy. the guy who would do anything just to see me and be with me. the guy who plays, laughs, worries, and cries with me. the guy i am comfortable hanging around. the guy who taught me how to live life in a much more simple way. the guy who taught me that there's more than the materials given to me, that what matters is the company we both give to each other. the guy who wants no one else but me. the guy who knows the best of me. the guy who can withstand my mood swings. the guy who stands by me. the guy who encourages me to do my best. the guy who knows my potentials. the same guy who makes me feel that i am his life, that i am his strength, that i am his everything. the guy who does everything he can to let me feel i am loved and taken care of. that same guy who dreams a future with me, who includes me in his plans for the future, who never made me feel that i am nobody. the guy that i am now with, is the guy i now love. someone not perfect but real. someone who had a painful past but has a beautiful present with me. someone i fondly call as "mine", "sweetie", "my sweet angel", "dear" and "wix". this guy i am talking about is no one else but mr. jev miral verula. the one who swept me off my feet from the very first time i laid my eyes on him. the one who made me realize that love can really be this great. the one that taught me how to love deeply again.

for this and a million things too, i end this article just like this. i wanna leave it like this for i know there would still be more to tell on the days that would come for the two of us. days more beautiful than we have these past few months, days i know will be brighter than sunshine. days that we would face together may it be the worst or the best. because as you can see, we're just like any other couple in the world, we fight and we make up. but the thing that sets us apart from the others is the contentment and the love we both share to one another.

keep love burning! and the lesson i've learned? dont shut out love. don't give up on love. let love find its way to you. don't quit just love and keep on loving!